You gotta be you! If you don’t, who else will? No matter how hard one tries to escape it, you’re the only you there is, so you might as well be true to your heart.
Why is it so hard to just be ourselves? We’re certainly not born to conform; everyone is unique when their small. In fact, babies and toddlers have no capacity for self-awareness. This is what makes them so fun, and challenging. No one under the age of three worries what anyone thinks of them.
Who is responsible? Is it parents, teachers, friends, television, books, music, social media? Middle School? (Definitely middle school) Most of our life is a struggle between the effort to be ourselves and the imperative to be like others, or at least just fit in.
For many, the first shock of self-recognition marks the beginning of a lifelong search for the one “true” self and for a feeling of behaving in accordance of that self that can be called authenticity. We try on life in the fitting room. We explore jobs, relationships, fashions, hobbies, living arrangements all to see what fits and what’s “just not me.”
As a mid-lifer (boy I hate that word), my life became much deeper. I knew the search was over, yet I wasn’t ready to walk out of that fitting room as my true authentic self, because I listened to those around me. I confused myself. I wanted to be myself, yet I was told I couldn’t be myself. I was dating someone who told lie after lie about who they were and I got on this roller coaster ride of going along. After a while in this thing called mid-life, I realized…..life is once! ONE TIME we live this life and I wasn’t happy. I don’t want to look back and feel trapped and as I get older and became an elder regret this one great life we get.
A hunger for authenticity guides us in every age and aspect of life. It drives us and deepens our commitments to our career, faith, family that match our self-image. Being you is exhausting. It takes more work to be you and stand up for your true self then to just do what others expect of you. We are in a culture that mocks the very idea that there is anything solid and true about the self. Cosmetic surgery, make-overs, testing in schools, and now social media. Is life truly as good as your social media says it is?
I know that I was wearing a mask and found myself not being my true self in the company of others. Only when I was able to take that mask off and be actively aware of myself, did I experience freedom.
This process involves two steps:
1. Knowing yourself, and then,
2. Choosing to be yourself.
Being yourself eventually shifts you away from the inner emotional turmoil and towards feeling lighter, liberated and happy.
Which mask do you catch yourself wearing? Together we can remove that mask and allow you to find your true authentic self. You Gotta Be You! Call and schedule your FREE 30 minute phone conversation.
Becky Shaffer http://www.BeckyShafferliveinconfidence.com