What Is The Purpose Of A Relationship?

Not an earth-shattering answer, but the point of a relationship is to grow. A relationship can make life more exciting for one. We consider to think of a relationship as something we do, the mindset of settling down. But are you really settling down?

Of course, we all want to meet our person, most of us want to settle down and build that magical life of bliss. However, I see settling down differently than many. My views come from having relationships and the feeling of “having” to settle down because that is what people do. I want more!

I feel the purpose of a relationship is more than settling down. It is more trial and error, more learning, more adventures, more excitement, more late-night talks on the phone until you fall asleep (ahhhh, my favorite) more good mornings, more coffee talks, more spontaneous travel, and finding that person that wants more out of life with you. A relationship offers “moreness”. Do more, see more, do more of life together. Spend time together. With the right person you have this added, fantastic thing in your life. With the right person, it adds adventure, motivation, a person to pick you up when you fall, a person to understand communication, conflict, agree to disagree, compromise and more than anything unconditional love. Your live or die. Your, “I can’t wait to see you person.”

Everyone wants to have a fulfilling, meaningful, purposeful relationship filled with values, trust and communication. The “more” can’t be filled without these.

Settling down for many is where life becomes a halt. One should never settle down, but grow as a couple, as individuals and experience this amazing thing we call life.

I have settled too long in a couple relationships. There was no “moreness”, there were no adventures, communication, and little memories, and the best of me was not there. That is not the purpose of a relationship. I always want to be my best self as you should always want to be the best YOU.

I tried really hard to settle in every relationship without really thinking about what it all means to me and my life. When my unfulfilled wish of settling in a relationship only left me bitter and a couple heart breaks over a break-up after another break-up, I started to wonder what the purpose of having a relationship is. Is it just to get married and settled with somebody before I become too old? If a relationship doesn’t turn into a marriage, is it a failure? NO!

I could not be who I am today nor could I be aware of what I am writing in my blog now without the experiences and lessons I learned from my past relationships. How about a sense of loss, which I believe is at the core of all the sufferings and pains caused by a break-up? Am I really losing something? Yes, the imaginary expectations I have about a future together. But it is not something which actually existed or happened yet, so it doesn’t make sense to lose something which doesn’t even exist other than in my mind. In reality, I’ve actually gained something every time. More lessons. More of what I don’t want, more of what I do want and more than anything, growth. This growth has allowed me to know what I truly want in my life, it has allowed me to live for the experience, to live for the “more” and enjoy every minute of it. I am thankful for this.

The purpose of a relationship is to continue to find the best you, the best in your partner and your partner finding the best in themselves. If you or your partner can’t find the best within yourselves, you will never find the best in your partner.

I love being in a relationship and I want to find my Ride or Die, a partner that has your back no matter what and picks you up when you fall. It adds this powerful safety net to your life. The purpose of a relationship is much more than settling.

When you have someone that will stay up late and talk to you, someone that will do a last minute trip with you, someone that will do more, feel more and live more life, you are living for the more, the moment, the memories. Looking at a partner in the lens of “more” allows you to know if you have a partner that will grow with you, will spend time with you and willing to be vulnerable. With the right perspective going into a relationship and knowing you found your potential person, you will feel “more life”.

The point of life is to experence things, see more and do more, the point of a relationship is to continue to experence life. Feeling the wholeness is a more, it isn’t settling down. Have I said this enough yet?

Indeed, life itself is a journey to explore. As we continue to grow and change as a person and have different experiences throughout the journey of our lives, the world to explore is endless. Hell, I bought a camper to go explore. I will explore solo, or I will explore with friends and or my person. Just get out there and explore!

It would be more than great if I could do it with somebody for a lifetime. I don’t want to have a relationship to “settle”, but only to explore the journey of life with love, joy and growth with my person and to this person, I am their person. AND to this person, they want to explore with me. I am excited for this part of my life. I want to feel like my person’s “more” as well. We all do.

The point of a relationship is to give you “MORE” in life. Go live and add “moreness” to your life.

Let’s Talk!

Take the next step If you’d like to explore whether or not there’s a fit for you and I to work together. Send an email to liveinconfidence@gmail.com and leave your name, a short message of what you are looking for to improve your life, and I will set up a free 30-minute consultation.

I don’t have a “magic wand” that will bring you instant answers without having to do any work. I’ve been there, I have done the work.

I can’t promise you that your journey won’t be uncomfortable, and possibly frightening at times as putting in the work is hard stuff. But what I can promise you is that I will support you in finding YOUR answer. I’m a coach, not a therapist…and it’s my job to help you get UNSTUCK.

Becky Shaffer / Life Coach / Author / Educator